Confidence is one of the principal skills we must master if we are to be successful. So how to be more confident?
In this article, I am going to tell you 18 simple ways to be more confident.
Having confidence is to have belief in our abilities, and this helps us to maximize our potentials.
Confidence can make 50% look like 80%, but a lack of confidence can reduce 80% to 10%.
Exuding confidence is easier said than done. Let us face the facts, there are days when we may feel completely down. Training ourselves to be more confident, helps us achieve positive results, even on our off days.
So whether you want to land that job, or deliver a speech, or you want to talk to your crush. This article is to help you build up your self-confidence.
18 Ways to Be More Confident
For someone who lacks confidence, these simple steps will help a lot. But you have to be patient and persistent. It may take 2 months or 6 months. For some people it takes years. But definitely, the result will show within 3 months.
1. Find Your Weakness and Work on it: Face Your Fears
We know confidence comes from believing in our abilities. But what about our weaknesses? What role do they play in affecting our confidence levels?
You need to make a list of the thing you know you are not good at.
For instance, if you are to make a presentation in class. Your list could look like this;
- Don’t like making eye contact.
- Fear of questions. And so on.
The next step is to start making eye contact with people. Try doing this in the weeks leading up to the presentation.
For example, if you have a group presentation in school. You can have your group members ask you questions. Doing this will prepare your mind for questions that others might ask you.
You might find that other students will ask you the same questions that your group members already asked you. Never be afraid to say you do not know the answer. You should also makeup questions on your own and try to provide answers.
2. Start Small: First Step is Very Important
Yes, this is a much-underrated statement but it is very true. Take a look at where you are. Did you get here in one day?
Sometimes we want to get to the end too fast. Building on simple things helps us achieve harder things. So do not rush. Instead of thinking of how to tell your crush how much you like them. Focus on saying a simple hello to them. Then you can ask how their day is going.
Start your morning with some productive work. Check out the article on “best things to do in the morning“.
3. Don’t Compare Yourself with Others: You are Enough
Many a time, we spend hours, comparing ourselves to others. This default mode has a negative impact on our confidence. The reason for this is that when we compare ourselves with others, we make judgments based on wrong standards.
Everyone has a unique set of gifts, focus your attention on your skills and how you can use them to your advantage.
It is easy to see the achievements of others and start to compare ourselves with them. That is because they don’t show us their failures and mistakes. Look inward and search for growth. Are you better today than yesterday? Are you maximizing your potentials?
Make assessments about yourself and seek improvements rather than base your success on someone else’s standards.
True success is realized in setting goals for yourself and accomplishing them.
Even if you compete, comparing yourself with others will only destroy your confidence.
“Comparison is the death of joy.”
– Mark Twain
4. Surround Yourself with Positive People: Choose Your Companion Wisely
A little physics here. Energy is not created or destroyed but transformed from one form to another. If you continue to hear and see negatives you will get negative results. Want to know why?
You will never try to do anything to change the situation around you because you feel doomed from the start. The opposite is the case when you are around positive thinkers.
You will begin to believe in your abilities to rise above any challenge. So do not move with the people at your office that say no one can get promoted because the boss does not like them.
5. Get New Skills and New Experience: Educate Yourself
Having a little edge over others or an ace up your sleeve gives you more confidence.
Think of it this way you are playing a game and you know a secret code to outsmart your opponent. You feel more relaxed knowing that when the time is right you will use your wild card.
Apply this method to your life and watch your confidence grow.
If you have to apply for the job of a writer, and everyone has the same skills. Impress your Interviewer. Display your graphic design skills as you make your presentation.
The more you know the more confident you act.
6. Put Your Thoughts in Their Place
Always put your thoughts in check. Once you realize a bad thought is in your head make sure to kick it out.
A good way is to reflect on good times or when things worked out for you. Take control of your mind and guide it to a positive place.
Even the most confident people sometimes drift into moments of negativity. The only difference is, they counter this by having positive reflections.
7. Improve Your Self Talk: Avoid Negative Talks
Practice talking to yourself, and do it often. If the whole world is cheering you on and you continue to beat yourself down, you will not see any improvement in your confidence. That’s why it’s called self-confidence.
Tell yourself positive things. You can even adopt some positive mantras and keep saying them till you believe them. Very soon, you will begin to act like the things you say and think.
“If anyone can, I can.”
“I believe in myself. I’m excited about my talents, gifts, and qualities.”
8. Dress for Confidence
Good dressing changes how you view yourself and how people see you.
When you feel good, you are in a good place mentally and that helps the way you carry yourself.
Wear fitted clothes, it shows control and tells people you care for yourself.
Dress for the occasion so that you don’t feel out of place. The first impressions we give, matter a great deal. When you’re going for an interview or if you need to make a presentation, plan your dressing well. It is even good to put them on and practice talking in front of a mirror.
Dress smart and neat so you don’t have to hide or worry about how elegant others look.
9. Overcome Self-limiting Beliefs: You are Limitless
Ever heard the saying, “you are a victim of your imaginations”?
Self-limitation is self-doubt. If you play a musical instrument, you will realize that the mind only plays tricks on us. It is easy to limit ourselves if we have not practiced. But it will amaze you how much we still doubt ourselves even after so much work.
“I am limitless”, let’s add that to our list of positive quotes. Think big! Start small.
A good way to overcome sell doubt is to document success. Whenever you start to feel less confident look at your history of success and start to believe you can do it.
10. Follow an Efficient Daily Routine: Make Great Habits
Great skills are formed through repetitions. The most decorated Olympian of all time, Michael Phelps, said. “In swimming, when you miss one day of training, it takes you two days to get back. In six years, I never missed a single day.” That is incredible.
One of my friends is a musician, I know the importance of performing with confidence. To perform in front of an audience for 15 minutes, he needs to rehearse for hours in his garage.
The best way to build up your skill is to practice every day. For example, if you want to improve your guitar skills. It is better to practice for 30 minutes every day than to play for 10 hours on weekends. Draw out a timetable and make sure you stick to it.
When you hone your skills, you perform with more confidence because you know what you’re doing.
11. Live in the Present: Live the Moment
If you want to enjoy your life, live in the moment. Never dwell on past mistakes, it brings depression. Do not be anxious for tomorrow, but focus on what you are doing right now.
To be confident and successful you need all the mental energy you can get. No need to waste any energy on things you have no control over.
Tomorrow will come. You will face it and leave it behind.
Practice concentration techniques, like yoga or exercising. Take time out to enjoy nature and sleep well.
12. Raise Your Curiosity Levels: Ask Yourself “Why”
Knowledge is power. Never stay satisfied with the knowledge you have. Always aspire to know more.
Questions are more important than answers, they prove our thirst for understanding.
If something that you did not like happened, which was bound to happen sometimes. Instead of crying about it ask yourself questions like;
- Why it happened.
- What could I have done differently?
- How can I prevent it from happening next time?
You should also watch others and learn from their mistakes. Learn new ways to approach every situation and discover your confidence soar.
I read a book, “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek. You should read it too.
13. Do Your Homework: Practice is Important
Lack of knowledge will make you less confident. There is nothing to be confident about in the first place. Top students always seem to be confident when there is a test or examination. This is so because they have spent hours practicing and they know what to expect.
There was one semester and on the very first day, this lecturer decided to give us a test because the class was noisy.
I looked at the faces of some of the brightest students in our class. To my surprise, most of them didn’t look confident. We were all the same at that moment. We didn’t know what to expect.
Practice is Important for confidence. It will build your confidence in your abilities.
14. Take Care of Yourself
Take care of your body and mind. You owe that to yourself.
Take time to groom yourself. Your appearance is an important factor in your social life. Don’t make yourself worry about how you look when approaching someone.
If you want to sell something to someone and they look at you in a way that shows disapproval. It will be difficult for you to stay confident. Exercise your body and stay in shape.
One should follow simple routines, like regular showers and the use of deodorants. They go a long way to improve confidence.
15. Take a Daily Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
When you find something you do not do well at, force yourself to do it. For instance, if you do not know how to dance and you always look awkward at parties. Take dance lessons.
You are not trying to be Chris Brown but you will become more confident at gatherings.
Don’t wrap yourself up with the same things over and over. A monotonous life can become depressing. Go out and experience life. If you are not confident in science class, study a little more every day and you will get better.
16. Read Self-improvement Books
Get good books that teach self-improvement and confidence. These writers have put their experiences into writing.
Reading them will make you understand that you are no different from others. You will learn how they changed their situations.
Some very useful books for self-improvement are:
- P.S. I Love You – H. Jackson Brown Jr,
- Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich,
- Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand,
- Make Good Art – Neil Gaiman, and
- The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom.
17. Practice Talking to Strangers: Make Eye Contact
Talking to new people can be very daunting at first. But like every skill, it can be learned and mastered.
Start by greeting people and trying to make eye contact. Pay attention to people’s countenance. It will help you know in what direction to steer the conversation.
Part of communication is listening. Learn to listen to people before you speak. They will feel more obliged to be around you.
Note: You should not steer into people’s eyes for so long as it can be creepy.
18. Find a Mentor: Take Help From Others
If you need to, do not feel ashamed to ask for help from teachers, parents, and even psychology experts. They can help you figure out what is causing your lack of confidence.
Sometimes emotional scars need proper examination and professional solutions.
Talking to people will also help you hear yourself and you might find the answers you have been looking for.
How to Be More Confident: In a Nutshell
Final Takeaway
You can change the narrative of yourself. Self-confidence is not a gift. It is not a talent. It is a skill. One developed over time.
The reason some might show more self-confidence than others is down to years and years of self-discovery and development.
The fact that you are reading this shows that you are on the part to building your confidence.
Remember to take it one step at a time.